That Man Behind The Curtain

We all know what the old Domino’s Pizza was like. Some have described it as cardboard, ketchup and cat meat, all in one.  Pretty unappetizing if you ask me.  If you have a bad product, like the pizza by Domino’s, no amount of advertising and promotion will ever make consumers choose you.

With numerous customer complaints and a diminishing brand image, Domino’s understood that in order to survive in the pizza industry, it would need to listen to its customers and adapt.  Domino’s fundamentally looked at the research and decided it could get a lot of earned media and attention by (get ready for this)… being truthful! Truth in advertising—what a concept!  So, the “Domino’s— Our Pizza Sucks Campaign” (also known as the “Oh Yes We Did” campaign) was born.  In the campaign, Domino’s admitted that its pizza was not the best, introduced consumers to the new and improved recipe and encouraged them to contact Domino’s if the pizza they ordered did not live up to the high expectations set by this new campaign.  For example, in one of its commercials, Domino’s shared a complaint that was sent in to them by one of its customers that claimed that the pizza delivered to him was completely destroyed when he opened the box because the cheese was stuck to the top of it. In addition to announcing that it was now building a better pizza, it also built web and promotional programs around challenging consumers to try and compare its brand to others.

Ever since Domino’s started this campaign the concept has been stolen by all kinds of brands.  Dodge for example, now challenges consumers to buy a new Ram Truck, keep it for 60 days before they are required to make the first payment.  If the consumers aren’t satifisfied with the truck after that amount of time then they can bring it back!!

Admitting that you have a bad product is the single most important step in making a “recovery.”  Today when celebrities end up in rehab they receive a ton of publicity and it is considered to be a positive career move.  Well, the same thing is happening to brands.  A public admission and a promise to change and improve, followed by a public demonstration of that new promise are the necessary steps that companies must take in order to improve perceptions of their brands.

On a less serious note, by now you have all heard the news about JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater, who, last week, experienced what can only be described as a “bad day at the office.”

Slater was working a flight that had just arrived at New York’s JFK Airport from Pittsburg, and apparently had an unpleasant exchange with a passenger whom he reports “treated him rudely.”

I can’t speak for the rest of my fellow air travelers, but I have to try hard to remember the last time a flight attendant didn’t treat ME rudely! I understand that Mr. Slater’s job certainly has its share of challenges, but I’m amazed that this guy has become hailed on the web as a “working class hero” for practicing what some are calling a “take this job and shove it” moment.

To recap:  As Mr. Slater’s flight was on the tarmac and the unfortunate encounter occurred, Mr. Slater reportedly took to the aircraft’s public address system and told everyone on board “where the dog died” over a customer’s rude behavior.

According to reports, he grabbed a cold beer from the plane’s galley, deployed an emergency slide from one of the main cabin’s exit doors, and slid off duty while stunned passengers watched.

This is pretty funny when you consider that this guy is supposedly a trained professional, one of the most highly paid cocktail waiters on the hospitality food chain, whose primary responsibility is passenger safety and well being.  I think we should all celebrate the fact that Mr. Slater’s unpleasant encounter with the passenger occurred while the plane was still on the tarmac rather than upon reaching cruising altitude, where his hissy fit might have caused a bit more of a situation for the passengers, the plane, and the airline. But you have to give the guy style points for clipping the brew!

I’ve decided that this guy should NOT be fired.  JetBlue would be crazy to let him go given his newfound celebrity as the frustrated “everyman” who, as the late Peter Finch so boldly proclaimed in the movie “Network,” was clearly “mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!”

Don’t fire the guy, but let’s assume that given this display of frustration he’s probably not the right guy to be put in close contact with passengers.  No, I think Mr. Slater would be most effective as the guy who commands the full attention of all JetBlue passengers during the safety instructions prior to take off.

Many larger aircraft employ the use of pre-recorded safety instructions in the form of a video shown throughout the cabin on retractable video monitors.  Given this guy’s anger management issues and the fact that he’s not willing to take a lot of crap, he would be great as JetBlue’s new face of safety.  He could begin the video by saying:  “Ladies and gentlemen welcome aboard JetBlue.  We’re glad you’ve chosen to fly with us today.  I’m Steven Slater and I’m going to have to ask you to direct your attention to me on the monitors above for some important safety features of our Boing 767 aircraft.  YOU – the guy in 14 B – put the damn newspaper down and listen or I’ll kick your ass and send you down the inflatable exit slide!”

Now he’s got everyone’s attention and continues…

“I’m only going to say this once, so eyes forward and no talking, giggling, or nodding off.  Flight attendants on all JetBlue flights are trained in martial arts and have very short fuses so it’s best not to give us any trouble.  Please fasten your safety belts by slipping the belt through the clasp until it clicks.  The seat belt should be worn low and tight around your waist.  Keep it buckled at all times when the sign is illuminated or we will taser you.

In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, which can occur if one of our flight crew should become really pissed off and open an emergency door while airborne, oxygen masks will be deployed from above your heads.  Put the damn mask on and please shut up.  We will be busy trying to protect the beer supply from exiting flight attendant s and the last thing we need to hear after a long day of flying is 300 of you pains in the ass screaming hysterically.

We want to remind you that smoking is never allowed on a JetBlue flight so please remember – if you light, we flight.  Thanks again for listening – like you were going to think about not paying attention to me?  Now sit back, relax and allow each and everyone of us hard working flight attendants to be rude, unresponsive, and impatient with each of your requests.  That means if you’re in an aisle seat we will be sure to bump you hard with the beverage cart when we come by, ensuring you will be startlingly jarred awake.  Don’t ask for anything complicated like ice, we’re too tired to walk back to the galley to get it.  Please don’t request a blanket or pillow, those days are long gone.  If you’re too hot or too cold, please keep it to yourself – you’re lucky we can pressurize this thing to begin with.

On behalf of your captain and crew and everyone here at JetBlue, thanks for listening, and please don’t be rude to any of us – we’re in no mood for it.”

Yup, Mr. Slater has a future all right.  I’m betting he would get everyone’s attention!